#114: Effortless.

We have all been there. You put in everything you have and it goes unnoticed. And then occasionally, magic happens. Just like that.

I was zapping through TV channels and picked up a fraction of a conversation.

«Joy is being liked without having to make an effort»

Wow! I loved it immediately. It was just this one sentence.

Without effort. Effortless. With ease.

Being liked for being you. Sounds like an ideal world, doesn’t it?

I am wondering how hard I make it for others to experience that feeling of being liked effortlessly. Do I unconsciously communicate a set of expectations of what it takes to being liked by me? That would be mean, wouldn’t it?

Conditional love or deprivation of love are serious weapons. They can cause real harm and shouldn’t be used in any relationship.

Why don’t we start every conversation with «hey you, I don’t know you but I do like you»? Why wouldn’t we? That person might have evil intentions. It feels like we have been trained to be cautious and suspicious of anyone. Trust and love need to be earned. All good justifications to be suspicious of any stranger.

And yet, my hypothesis is that joy can be spread so easily, or should I say effortlessly, by making others feel that we like them the way they are. That should be our starting position.

Naive? Maybe.

Positive? Think so.

Contagious? Sure.

Worthwhile paying attention to how others make me feel and what impressions I create on others.

No need to put in a special effort. If it couldn’t be done effortlessly, it would never achieve the desired result. No point in doing it then.