#120: Everything Is A Relationship.

I have just watched this movie. It was actually a documentary. But what was it really?

Your world. My world. Inside. Outside.

In his award-winning documentary “My Octopus Teacher”, Craig Foster shares his experience of developing a relationship with an octopus over the course of almost a year. It is also about his relationship with himself. And his son Tom. He invites us into his relationship with nature, the ocean, the weather and the cold. It is not just about the octopus either. Any animal crossing his path forms part of the story. It is an inclusive story. I did get the impression that there was space for everyone.

I was deeply touched. Okay. I admit that I had to wipe away a tear. It wasn’t just me. Against all odds, the octopus made it all the way to giving birth to hundreds of thousands of baby octopus before dying an octopus’ death. Completely exhausted, the octopus got taken away by a pyjama shark. The End.

Why did I get so carried away? Why is it not the same when I have meat on my plate? Why don’t we break out in tears when we see an old tree being cut in the rainforest? Why is there no sobbing when we walk past a homeless man sleeping on a bench?

There is an easy explanation for that. First of all, I didn’t kill that cow, log that tree or make that man redundant. But there is more to it. I have never established a relationship with that particular cow, that specific tree or that person. In other words, I might just be indifferent to them.

What if there was a relationship? Imagine that you had hand-fed the baby cow right after its birth. As a child you would have run off to the trunk of that colossal tree whenever you felt sad. And that man lying on the bench would have actually been your best friend at primary school. Would it make a difference?

None of us has the super powers necessary to save the world single-handedly. But we can start building relationships with the world around us. Take the bees in your garden, for instance. By observing them more closely and more often, you will notice that they prefer certain plants over others. Why not plant more of those of “the bees’ choice”? They would give back to you by sharing the “bee level of joy” with you as Craig Foster admirably puts it.

I remember someone telling me “I like your shirt” on a sidewalk in Vancouver 25+years ago. No idea who said that. However, I felt noticed… to this very day, as you can tell. Two complete strangers had established a relationship momentarily. It only lasted for a few seconds. Never would I have dreamt that the ripple effects of such a casual statement could possibly last for so long.

Craig Foster’s story is proof of what is possible if you are gentle and brave enough to “dive deep”. Committing to a relationship can be taxing and enormously rewarding at the same time. It often starts when you least expect it, when you don’t believe that you have anything to give. No energy. No time. No love. That is exactly when you need it most.

It is a choice. Your choice. Doors will open up for you. Automatically.

It starts with taking a deep breath.