#144: Yellow Family.

It is hard to tell when someone changes. Harder so when that someone is you.

Little did I know when we started back in January. Less so when I signed up for Yellow Learning some time last year. I couldn’t really put into words what attracted me to the programme. It just felt right. Timing. Format. People. All of it.

Expectations? None. Hopes? Something to hold on to.

It was like I had anticipated the turbulences I would be going through. We often hear about «safe spaces». This has always been one. On the few occasions when I missed a session, thinking about how it would feel to be there would make me smile. It would give me comfort and calm me down.

That sounds strange. I know. It is all in the head, you might think. And that is exactly what it isn’t.

I had never met these people before with one exception. What do they all do for a living? What are their titles? Are they all high-achievers (whatever that is anyway)? What are their career aspirations? I still don’t have the answers to any of these questions. It didn’t matter. It still doesn’t.

Little did I know. I miss them already. Her creativity, her curiosity, his calmness, her humour, his sparkle and their generosity.

Family. When asked to share one word for a final poem, that was on my mind. It felt like I could be who I thought I was. Laughing out loud about cheesy comments on one occasion, lost in deep thoughts on another. Always grateful to be seen. Not looked or stared at. Not judged. Not compared to anyone or anything.

Little did I know. I am shedding a few tears while smiling. So grateful to experience one of those rare «rainbow moments» when your own sunlight shines on your raindrops.

Time to let go. The toolbox is there. There is just one standard and that is mine.