#157: Regenerative Friendship.
There is much talk about «regenerative practices» in agriculture. I am a strong believer in their application to our relationships with other people.
Ron Finley is one of a kind. I first came across this unique personality when listening to one of the MAD Symposium talks. I had applied twice to attend the festival, but it wasn’t meant to be. Luckily, listening to talks like this one by Ron Finley made up for most of it.
He seems to have grown up in the sense that his language almost sounds too timid and polite in his Masterclass trailer compared to the MAD talk, which no doubt was «raw and uncut».
It is pure coincidence that I ran into Finley while researching for what hit my mind today. However, since there is no such thing is a coincidence, I can easily establish the link between the topic of regenerative gardening, Copenhagen and one of my most important friendships. So let’s start with growing vegetables.
Organic isn’t good enough. Full stop.
Not doing any harm doesn’t save our planet where we are today. Hence, we need to create change for the better instead. That is where regenerative practices come into play. Whether or not you keep your hands off pesticides and fungicides isn’t even a question anymore. What you need to focus on, though, is the soil. Everything grows in healthy soil and the environment allows for beneficial organisms to control pests.
One of my primary school friends continues to be one of my best friends to this day. I would go as far as to say that this has been the result of regenerative practices applied to our friendship.
Let’s use the four principles tought by Finley in his masterclass:
1. Promote biodiversity — what is the equivalent of cover crops and crop rotation in the context of a friendship? Don’t expect anything in return when you show support to your friend, contribute to his/her projects and cheer for him/her when they shine. Also, bring up different topics and challenge your friend in the conversations you are having.
2. Eliminate or decrease tillage — don’t overwhelm your relationships with the weight and seriousness of the topics you you discuss. Lightness and playfulness are key to foster a mutually beneficial relationship built on trust and support.
3. Reduce the use of artificial fertilizers — appreciate the small things in life, cherish your friend in your heart for who she/he is. Eliminate status symbols and superficiality. Focus on real-life experiences.
4. Use regenerative grazing management for livestock — this sounds like the toughest one to make sense of in the context of relationships. Give it the time it takes. The most solid bonds are established when you aren’t hanging out with each other 24/7. When a project has come to an end, don’t immediately start another one. Have moments of intense interaction followed by time for oneself.
I wasn’t alone what that idea to attend the MAD Symposium in Copenhagen. Hence, we both applied, got both rejected and decided to spend the days of the actual syposium in Copenhagen with our spouse. We had a great time and enjoyed every moment in the city.
In hindsight, it was a moment of harvesting. We had planted seeds long before and deserved the fruit of our labour. The same holds true today. Following our mobile coffee project, we went separate ways only to rejoin forces over the coming weeks.
A deep level of mutual trust and the joy of seeing the other one shine are no doubt the compost of friendships.
