#179: I Want To Live (Now)
We had this conversation some time ago. So much more serious than I had anticipated. A straightforward statement to me. She felt hurt.
I can feel it, too. My pain is different, though. It is a choice only I can make.
To live or not to live (which doesn’t necessarily equate to dying!)?
The conversation was about life-sustaining measures. I am not in favour. That is not because I don’t love to live. It is not because I don’t want to spend time with my loved ones.
I see us. Living life fully.
So what hurts the most?
It is not saying YES today as opposed to a hypothetical point in time in what feels like the distant future under circumstances I can’t possibly envision nor imagine today.
When do I feel most alive?
What can I bring to the world?
What is my gift?
I have experienced those moments. More than once.
Others have also felt it. Some have been so generous to tell me.
The gift is there.
It is discovery time. Time to name it. Time to spell it out. Time to share it with the world. Time to say it.